You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
