I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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