Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
