Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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