is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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