Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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