you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
