His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
