Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
