I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
they need to just BURY HIM!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
