Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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