so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
