Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
