i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
