Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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