Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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