I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Drake has all the answers
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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