At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
vagina is talking i cant
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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