their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I cut my penus on the lid.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
