weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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