his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize