I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
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You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
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Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
soo... how was my night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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