I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
