Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize