he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
