Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
