the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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