Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
