God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
