I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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