can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
