You can't special order awesome
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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