I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize