The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
