So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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