defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
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I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
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Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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