Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
