Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
