just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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