I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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