This dress was meant to end up on your floor
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
