Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
