I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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