Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
