Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
