PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
