just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize