I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize