Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
