Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
