what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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