Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
