Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize