dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
