I didn't shave. On purpose
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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