We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
