dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
