thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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