I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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