This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Will exercising make me less horny?
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