how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
