We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
