I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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